To celebrate Father’s Day, we’ve compiled a list of TV’s best and worst dads. While these dads are completely fictitious, these men have had a heavy influence on the way Americans approach fatherhood. We’ve got representatives from the “aw shucks” 1950s dad to the bumbling idiot dad of the 21st Century.

TV’s Best Dads

Andy Taylor- The Andy Griffith Show
As a single dad, Sheriff Taylor did a fantastic job raising his son Opie. In every episode, Sheriff Andy taught his son and the rest of America one important lesson- do the right thing.

Not only did Andy teach little Opie important life lessons, he also made sure to spend plenty of time with him on fishin’ trips.

Homer Simpson- The Simpsons
I originally put Homer on the worst TV dad list because he’s a perfect example of television’s bumbling idiot dad.

Sure, he is a poor example of physical health. Sure, he constantly abuses Bart through strangulation. But at the end of the day, the man would do anything for his kids. One of my favorite examples of this was when Homer, unbeknownst to Bart, acted like a robot so Bart could win the Robot war competition. In the process, Homer got bludgeoned and poked with sharp metal objects. Ah, the abiding and hilarious love of a father.

Hank Hill- King of the Hill
Hank Hill may just sell propane and propane accessories, but he’s the best damn propane seller in Heimlich County. Hank does a fantastic job of teaching his son Bobby the meaning of hard work, dedication, loyalty to friends and family, the importance of Dallas Cowboys football and Texas pride, and of course, the stupidity of political correctness.

Yeah, Bobby is awkward, and sometimes Hank is overly concerned about Bobby being a sissy, but he’s always there when Bobby needs him.

Steve Douglas- My Three Sons
My Three Sons was one of many dad sitcoms from the 1950s and 60s based around a widowed father raising their kids. Steve Douglas was an aeronautical engineer trying to raise three sons first in the Midwest and then in Los Angeles, California.

The show ran for 12 years and during that time, America saw Steve’s three sons move out, go to college, and get married. Raising well adjusted and successful family men definitely makes you a great dad.

Ward Cleaver- Leave It To Beaver
Ward Cleaver embodies the stereotypical 1950s dad. Ward might have been idealized, but that doesn’t mean men shouldn’t be inspired to be the kind of father he was. Ward Clever was a businessman that took his job as seriously as his family. Even when frustrated, the man hardly raised his voice.

He read Mark Twain to his sons. When he did give bad advice, (like telling the Beaver to get in a fight with a girl) Ward would admit his mistake and teach his sons a lesson in the process.

Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable- The Cosby Show
Cliff Huxtable was able to manage raising five kids while being a successful doctor. On top of that, he amassed the most awesome sweater collection in the history of TV fatherdom. Dr. Huxtable’s advice to his children was always based on common sense mixed with a wisecrack.

Dr. Huxtable taught his children that personal responsibility is the key to success in life. For example, even though his son, Theo, had dyslexia, Dr. Huxtable still expected him to excel in life and not use his learning disorder as an excuse.

Mike Brady- The Brady Bunch
Mike Brady, a widower, was faced with the challenge of integrating his three sons with another woman’s brood of three girls. He handled the situation by being both a strict disciplinarian and an empathetic guy. He had a home office/studio in his house so he could work part of the time at home, and even when he went to his real office, he came home around the time the kids returned from school.

He won “Father of the Year” on the show after Marcia submitted an essay in his praise to a newspaper. While clearly a stellar dad, Mike gets docked for abandoning his man haircut for a curly perm, and pulling a no-show for Greg’s high school graduation

Howard Cunningham- Happy Days
Mr. Cunningham (or “Mr. C.” as the Fonz lovingly called him) was not only the dad to Richie and Joanie Cunningham, but he also acted as a father figure for the Fonz (who Mr. C let move into the family garage), Ralph Malph, and Potsie.

He always laid down the law in his house. He was never his kids’ friend, but was always their loving authority figure. Although he loses points for not losing any sleep when his son Chuck disappeared in the second season, in general, Mr. C was a great dad.

Worst TV’s Dads

Tony Soprano- The Sopranos
Sure, Tony was able to provide for his family as a “garbage man,” but other than that, the guy was a lousy father. It’s tough to be raised by a professional criminal who knocks off people, including your boyfriend, with little remorse.

Tony cheated on his wife and had a strained relationship with his children. As a result, his kids suffered from some serious emotional issues.

Al Bundy- Married With Children
Al Bundy had no redeeming qualities. He was loser who wished he could go back to his high school days when he was a football star. Sitting on the couch with his hand in his pants, he doled out criticism to his family with apathetic aplomb.

He was stuck in a dead end job as a shoe salesman, and couldn’t even excel in that capacity. He was up to his ears in debt. His relationship with his kids was poor and his attitude toward women, including his wife, was deplorable. If you want a lesson on how not to be a man, watch Married with Children.

Archie Bunker- All in the Family
All in the Family was a critically acclaimed show that broke boundaries in regards to race, religion, and gender all thanks to Archie Bunker, the most bigoted old man in television history. Archie pretty much spent his entire time sitting in his living room chair spouting off racial epithets and calling his son-in-law “Meathead.”

While Archie started to soften up as the series progressed, he was still pretty much a racist jackass.

Peter Griffin- Family Guy
Peter Griffin is a lousy father. He makes fun of Chris, pays no attention to Stewie, and treats Meg like crap. His selling of Meg to pay off a debt at the local drug store is a perfect example of his failure as a dad. A father that sells his daughter into slavery deserves to be hit across the face with the baseball bat.

Of course, if that happened to Peter, it would be hilarious. And probably involve some kind of wacky TV sitcom flashback.

Gob Bluth- Arrested Development
Gob (pronounced like the Biblical character Job) works as a part-time magician and beauty contest judge. He was formally a male stripper, working as one of the “Hot Cops.” During one of Gob’s many one night stands during high school, he unknowingly fathered Steve Holt. Gob doesn’t find out that he’s Steve’s dad until Steve is a senior in high school.

Gob doesn’t know how to deal with this new found responsibility and Steve is surely disappointed that his long lost dad scoots about town on a Segway. On the upside, his magic show set to the tune of Europe’s ” The Final Countdown” is gold.

Jack Bauer-24
Sure, having a terrorist fighting bad ass for a father would be really cool in many ways. But his passion for his job has enormously detrimental effects on his family. Bauer’s job is to save American lives, but this puts the lives of his family at risk.

His own life is always in danger, he’s never at home, his wife Teri is killed, his daughter Kim is kidnapped several times, and her relationship with her dad is understandably strained.

Ray Barone- Everybody Loves Raymond
Ray is a good natured and funny guy, but definitely falls into the “incompetent man-child” stereotype currently dominating the airwaves. He’s not good at communicating, and cracks a joke instead of dealing with things seriously. He’s still tied to his mom’s apron strings and can’t confront her.

He’s not sure how to relate to her since she’s a girl and so buys her gifts to solve her problems or makes his wife deal with it.

I came across a news story today that says the historic Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee has selected its 3rd narrator.

I’ve heard of bellhops and chambermaids, but what’s this all about?

Apparently the hotel hires somebody to hang out at the hotel and blog about it at least twice a week for $1000 a month. Now I blog more often than that..and I do it for love, not money. But I could be persuaded to change my tune.

The new “narrator” is a guy named Ed Makowski who will hang out in the lobby and interview visitors and guests and share their experiences on the hotel’s website.  He says he looks forward to get to know the “rhythm and spirit” of the hotel and its employees and guests. Interesting that he used the word “spirit” because the place is supposed to be haunted!

Now it’s been years since I stayed at the Pfister, but I have stayed at a lot of Days Inns and Super 8s, and I would love to be the narrator for a place like that.

“So what brings you to the Days Inn? Did you enjoy the complimentary shampoo and conditioner?”

Oh I’d have so many questions! “Could I interest you in a waffle as part of a balanced hotel lobby continental breakfast?”

I could show empathy too. “I’m sorry we are out of orange juice for this morning. Perhaps if you asked for a wake-up call you would have been here in time.”

I could even write haiku poetry about my experiences. Eat that, Ed Makowski.

Grounds in my coffee

A hotel safe goes unused

Checkout is at noon

New York Times travel writer Seth Kugal visited Madison last weekend and writes about it in his blog this week.

Kugal was sent to Madison by his own readers who voted among six cities he offered up. We beat out Montreal with 40% of the vote to the Canadian city’s measly 23%. When you consider that Montreal has 1.9 million people and we have 230,000 that’s pretty impressive. Never mind that half the people in Montreal read only French and didn’t know about the contest or that people in Montreal have more things to do then vote to get a travel writer to come to their city, we won. Eat our dust, Montreal! If I could say that in French I would.

Seth, I think I can call him Seth since he knows us so well, loved Madison. He biked all over the place, loved our bike trails and really loved our beer and local cuisine. He mostly ate hamburgers (to stay within budget; that’s part of the Frugal Traveler schtick) and he drank some pretty heavy duty beer yet went back to Gotham only one pound heavier thanks to all that good biking.

He hit most of the spots I would have sent him to had I been asked. The Weary Traveler, the Old Fashioned, the Great Dane, Doty’s, State Street Brats, Ale Asylum, the Laurel only minutes from my house and Babcock Hall for ice cream. In only two full days. It’s amazing this guy is still alive.

He also loved the Saturday Farmers Market and Olbrich Park and the new Chazen Museum.

Read  Seth’s article. It’ll make you weep and yearn for home. But then you’ll realize that you’re still here. You’ll smile. And bike out for a burger and a beer maybe.

Heading to Freakfest this weekend on State Street Saturday night?

It’s a far cry from Halloween celebrations a few years ago, which sometimes ended with vandalism, and police bringing out the pepper spray. The mix of live entertainment with a more controlled environment and an admission charge seems to have done the trick in making for a party that’s fun without getting too crazy.

Tickets are $8 in advance and $12 at the gates, which open up at 7pm.

There’s a big costume contest as well, with judging next to the North Frances Street stage between 11pm and midnight. A word of warning from police..all dangerous props will be confiscated. So that means leave the swords and Ninja throwing stars at home.

The music lineup this year includes Neon Trees, Locksley and All Time Low. Here’s a preview.

Jeremy Warmsley and Elizabeth Sankey aka Summer Camp started making noise last year. The duo is partly funded by donations via pledgemusic.com. Their debut lp Welcome To Condale hits stores November 8th.

Summer Camp explains, “Welcome To Condale is our love letter to the days of being a teenager, when everything is so important, and you’re transformed irrevocably by a miserable relationship with a spotty youth called Darren who works at Pizza Hut. We believe that you never really escape that time, for better or for worse. It’s the things you fall in love with then that will stay with you forever. Well, except Darren. Hopefully.”

Warmsley released two solo records before hooking up with Sankley. Sankey is a well-respected journalist and writer, having worked with NME and Platform among others. If you like summery 80’s pop you’re going to love Welcome To Condale. Stream the record ahead of the release date here.

Since it’s Halloween season, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about how dolls scare the heck out of me.

In particular, it’s dolls with teeth that scare me…the ones made of bisque or porcelain that have tiny lifelike teeth. Flea markets and antique stores are filled with them…and they always freak me out.

It may have something to so with an episode of Night Gallery in which “a hideous doll comes to life and becomes an agent of revenge.”

Night Gallery Doll

I’m not afraid of Barbies, or Cabbage Patch dolls, or Raggedy Ann and Andy.

Just antique dolls. Extra creepy if they’re cracked or broken. Or dusty. Or partially melted.

However, this doll that was sold in the 1960’s might be the scariest of them all. Do not watch immediately before bedtime.

Rolling Stones release the remastered 1978 record Some Girls November 21st. It’s getting much the same treatment we saw with Exile On Main Street last year.

The Super Deluxe version will include a seven-inch single of Beast Of Burden featuring the original sleeve artwork. Both the deluxe and super deluxe packages include a previously unreleased track from the Some Girls sessions called No Spare Parts.

Check out No Spare Parts above. The song was recorded in Paris back in ‘78 and re-discovered by producer Don Was.

Halloween used to be one of my favorite holidays. But now it just seems to irritate me!

My biggest gripe: 2nd hand stores like Goodwill and St. Vinnies are so crammed with Halloween stuff that anything that might interest me is probably sitting in a back room somewhere. Not to mention all the thrift store newbies that are getting in my way!

I wasn’t always this way. When I was in my late teens early 20’s, I was all about Halloween, and actually put a lot of thought into my costumes. They didn’t always work out the greatest, but I had fun. When I dressed up as the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, no one quite got it. “Seasick elf?” some one inquired. The ghost of John Lennon didn’t turn out that great either, with somebody rudely saying “you are the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen!”

My favorite costume had to be the Cat from Outer Space.

It was based on a character from the musical “Cats,” and it got the outer space theme when my mom and I found some insulated drapery material which we turned inside out, and my mom made me some kind of frock type thing.  The shirt was an old 70’s polyester shirt that my older brother seriously wore..with the collars cut off and stuffed, then used for ears.

One thing I know for sure–you’re not going to find a costume like that at Goodwill!

For the past 25 years, Neil Young has brought some of his best friends together for the Bridge School, a school in California for kids with severe developmental disabilities. The school, which Neil’s children attended, specializes in helping children who don’t use speech to communicate.

Now he’s releasing some of the best performances, on either a 2 CD or 3 DVD set. The Bridge School Concerts has a pretty incredible lineup, with performances from Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, the Dave Matthews Band, Jack Johnson, The Who, Elton John & Leon Russell, and more. Check out the movie trailer:

The most recent concert happened over the weekend, and it featured an amazing performance of the song “Helpless” by Neil and Arcade Fire.

More info about the concert, the school, and the new CD and DVD here.

Sigur Rós: Festival (Live) from Sigur Rós on Vimeo.

Sigur Ros’ announced last year they were going on an indefinite hiatus to pursue solo careers and spend time with their families. Then a couple months ago it was revealed the Icelandic band would release Inni a double live album and Vincent Morisset-directed concert film featuring footage from Sigur Ros’ last show at London’s Alexandra Palace in 2008.

The ethereal quality of the visuals mixed with the intensity of Sigur Ros’ performance will literally carry you to another plane of existence. Check out the clip of Festival above. If you like what you see grab a free download here. Inni is screening at over 100 venues worldwide. The cd and dvd will be in stores November 15th.

Another great week of captions, which is exactly what I expected. You make my job easy, until I have to choose the winners. Once again, it was difficult, but I did it…We start with the honorable mentions, beginning with:  Philip, who gets props for this creative paragraph!

Ambero and Goldie Maize, first-time tourists from the semi-parallel Yellow Universe, were immensely disappointed with the panoply of pigmentation on display here in the Panchromatic Universe.

  “Ow, my eyes!” exclaimed Goldie.

  “I don’t even have word for these colors, honey!” Ambero declared, admitting his linguistic shortcoming.

Up next is Sam:   

What happens at the highlighter convention…stays at the highlighter convention.

I had to read Tom’s twice before I got it.  

On the way home from the jaundice support group meeting, Lenny asked for Phil’s help when crossing the busy street.

Heather had a musical caption: 

While awaiting the results of their discrimination suit against the Blue Man Group, John and Shirley had little success launching a solo career.

Now, these next two popped up at almost the exact same moment!!!

First, Anne: 

The original script of “Twins” was not exactly what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito had in mind.

then Dawn! Great minds think alike! 

On the set of “Twin’s Two”, Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger were dressed identically, only their mother could tell them apart.

And this week’s winner of the Pumpkiny and 2 CD’s selected JUST FOR HER is NANCY!!!

                                                  I hope no one else decides to go as hepatitis this year…

Awesome job everyone! 

No caption contest next week because we are moving our blogs to a new server…This gives me 2 weeks to find THE. PERFECT. PHOTO.